Before the first date: Meeting someone in Barcelona

Let’s start at the beginning. Prior to planning a first date, you have to meet a person who is interested in you! You should definitely consider signing-up to some online dating sites. It’s estimated that almost 30% of relationships and even more casual encounters now stem from internet meetings! Signing up for an internet dating site is generally free. You can look around to see if online dating is of interest to you. There are several internet dating websites available in Barcelona:

Meetic or eDarling: In my opinion, Meetic and eDarling are the best online dating sites in Barcelona, for most men and women. They both have thousands of members, and sign-up and basic membership is free. As there is no associated cost, its easy to sign up for both of them too see which one is more ‘you’. Then if you really like one service or another, you can pay for a membership upgrade, that allows you to more privileges.

If you’re interested in something more casual, or just a little bit of fun, you should really try the casual dating website Victoria Milan. If you don’t speak any Spanish there is an English option and you’ll have a great time as no one else on the site wants anything long term either…however, as the name suggests, many of the members are married and looking for something outside their current relationship.

Don’t limit yourself to online options. Try traditional venues like talking to people at a bar, a club, a department store, or wherever you may be likely to encounter an attractive partner. This takes confidence and some courage at the start, but the more you engage with other people in this way, the stronger your skills will become…

Whether you meet someone on the internet, at a bar, or while grocery shopping, there is only so far texting, calling, and e-mails and internet chatting can take a relationship.  Eventually, you want to meet the person to see if there is chemistry between the two of you.

If casual relationships are more your thing, then you should meet the person as soon as possible, before spending too much time and effort! If there is no physical attraction, casual relationships generally don’t move forward, and the last thing you want is to put in months of ground work only to find out your super-hot 25 year-old internet hook-up, is really a 60 year-old grandmother having some fun online!

Plan some alternatives for dates

When it comes to dating, a good rule of thumb is that everything that can go wrong, will go wrong! When thinking about the first date, you need to plan to do something of interest for both of you. Yes, for BOTH of you (I can’t stress for the both of you part enough).  Activities you personally find titillating might bore other people senseless. Exotic foods that you crave, might make someone else cringe.

You need to think carefully about  what you know about the person you are meeting. Use this knowledge to plan two dates (at least), that you think you’ll both enjoy.  Why go to all the effort of planning two activities?  Things can go wrong. Vehicles can break down, weather can refuse to co-operate, the restaurant might lose your reservation, or the movie you see might be terrible. If you have multiple choices, you can present these to your date and decide together. That way you’re more likely not to force them to do something that doesn’t interest them (and vice versa), and they share the responsibility for a bad date if things go sour… and if the first date goes well, you have something on the tip of your tongue when you’re asked about what is on the docket for a second.

The First Date Should be Short

Even if you’re sure you’ll get along, you could be wrong. Don’t let yourself get stuck on a hell-date that lasts forever with someone. You’ll already know if you don’t your date after an hour or two. Keep your first date to no longer than that. If things are going well, you can suggest making the date longer. In the worst case, you leave them looking forward to the next meeting. It’s good to leave someone wanting more!

Always Make it Special

Your first date doesn’t have to be expensive. You don’t need to be fancy or break new boundaries in the world of dating. But you should make it something to remember. Great views and sunsets, are free and a good start. Try something that is a little outside the box, but not totally off-the-wall. What about the zoo, or an amusement park? Perhaps a nice picnic in a scenic location? Think of a few good ideas and suggest them.

If things work out really, really, well, when you tell the tale of your first date, 30 years from now, you’ll have a nice story!

No surprises

Once you’ve been together for a while, surprises are great. Spontaneity can be awesome… just not on a first date! A surprise will be unpleasant on a first date 90% of the time, contrary to what romantic-comedy movies show us. Let your date know what you’re planning.  Tell them if you’re taking them to the movies or to the opera. Let them know you’ll be going to the zoo or an water park.  This will cover two bases. Your date can prepare for the fun, dress appropriately and get comfortable with the situation before your begin. It will also give them an opportunity to inform you, if they don’t like your date idea.

Be On Time

First dates are nervous occasions already. Why make your date worry when you don’t show up on time?  Make a point of being there on time (or even a few minutes early)! And if you can’t be sure to call ahead and let them know and apologize!!

Special Preparations?

Planning the date somewhere fancy, tell them! Likewise if you’re going outside, or somewhere they might need special attire, let them know. Nothing is worse than showing up inappropriately dressed for a first date. If it’s the first time to meet each other in person, then wear one piece of unusual clothing to make you easy to find. It’s unpleasant and embarrassing to ask multiple people if they’re your date.

Compliment, but Don’t Brown-nose!

This is a fine line and takes a little finesse. Compliment your date on some real things that your find interesting. Don’t comment to much on physical appearance, but rather stick to things that reflect their personality. Shoes and accessories are good to complement, as are careers, aspirations, education, etc.  Take care as too much flattery will make you sound desperate.

Go Easy on the Booze!

If you both drink, a little alcohol can be good for a first date, to relax things. But only if its both of you. Make certain your date is not a recovering alcoholic, or just does not drink for whatever reason (religious, allergy, other), before you order.

Too much wine, beer or spirits can cause a lot of trouble, and can be a social nightmare on a first date. We’ve all heard cringe-worthy stories about people who got drunk on the first date and ruined things before they even got started.

Talk and Listen

Have you ever been out with someone who had nothing to say? How about someone who talked non-stop?  Either situation generally means a  bad first date. If you are not much of a conversationalist, prepare yourself with some ice-breaking conversation starters. If you’re a chatty-cathy, make sure that you give your date some air time! Leave your phone in your pocket for the night… your emails, texts and facebook page can wait until after the date…

Personal Grooming

Would you like to go out with someone with food stuck in their teeth, death breath, BO, or filthy clothes? Well, the person you’re going out with won’t like these things either. Make an effort for your personal hygiene and really tidy yourself up. Bring along chewing gum or mints, trim your nose and ear hair, and ask a well groomed neutral party to tell you where your can improve. Have a fashionable friend inspect your in the clothes you plan to wear. Avoid clothes that are too revealing or too conservative and. Shine the shoes, iron your shirt and shave (face or legs/pits).

Good luck on your first date in Barcelona!!